It's us! We even got a house at the good interest rate there. BUT--it was the top end of our budget, it needed work, and we were living paycheck-to-paycheck doing repairs, paying $2,500/month for daycare, and working ourselves to the bone just to keep our heads above water one hour outside of Boston. We have an MA and a PhD between us, but Gen X and Baby Boomer bosses/managers underpaid, overworked, and infantilized us. It seemed like we would be 45-50 y/o before we were moved to more managerial positions.
I was lucky enough to get a job in VT before moving. Housing also panned out for us through my work. My partner is in an industry that is growing in VT. This is not an easy state for most people to move to, however, because of the housing and healthcare shortage. So, I don't want to paint it as some kind of utopia, but it's been good to us. We were willing to move anywhere in New England and just went with a good offer.
Very comfortable to rent. If you're looking to buy a condo, also somewhat comfortable. If you're looking to buy a SFH, not so comfortable unless you have a large down payment.
There are a lot of people who think a house can still be renovated with $50-$80k in Massachusetts. They assume they have the savings/loans to cover anything that is wrong with the house. Meanwhile, I often think about our $20k quote to convert a bay window into a french door. Folks will find out the hard way what stuff actually costs.
And that's not even if there's a structural or safety issue a decent inspector would catch. Making it unlivable or at least, un-mortgagable. If they waive the right contingencies they could be really screwed. People who resort to this practice are pushing the market into unsafe territory.
We have descended into madness and unfortunately the situation isn’t going to change until a home inspection is required by law to buy. Otherwise, sellers are just going to continue to go with non-inspection offers. We didn’t—but it was tempting!
Use Jemmy. I like it and it's your name. Don't worry about correcting people. If you can, have your backpack embroidered with "Jemmy." Then, when you introduce yourself, you will be able to point to the spelling.
On a college campus/in the age of social media, I think these concerns are mostly outdated. Everyone knows each other's names. In some ways, a nickname is a useful red herring. Adding the last name would be going too far. But there are definitely more private places to put the spelling of your name (like on your phone case, since it's mostly in your pocket, or on a keychain).
God of Small Things. I still don't know if I love it or hate it but I thought about it for a long time after reading it. The writing style is very unique.
I tried to be as accurate as possible with using Hartford as an example lol it’s an uncommon name and masculine sounding like Charleston🤷🏼♀️ but I’d never consider using a close friend’s baby’s name! I’ve never really spoken to my son’s classmate’s parents.
Yes but…it’s a small school. Is it also a small town? Will they end up in the same school? You’re setting your daughter up for an awkward dynamic. The two kids mentioned above attended the same school and a lot of kids knew the younger one was “named after” the older one (as they put it). It was awkward as hell for both of them. I feel like you can get a similar vibe by going for another uncommon city name or a variation on Charles/Charlotte.
Sounds like you’ve decided it’s not weird to use the name and wanted confirmation on Reddit that it’s not weird. I think folks in this thread are pretty divided and again…you should brace for side eye if you go ahead with it. And that side eye isn’t really something you can push back against because you ARE taking a unique name from another parent and making it your own. But if it’s worth it to you, then it’s worth it!
Went to the Hotel Salem bar when it first opened and it was hilariously bad. Cocktails were nearly undrinkable. I suspect it was just growing pains but…I will never go back.
I would contact the listing agent and ask if they'd be interested in a back-up cash offer and list the terms. If they say yes, you can have your agent draw it up. She can be annoyed you went behind her back and all but this is business, you shouldn't be playing these games to begin with, and she'll still potentially earn a commission she didn't actually "earn."
We went out to eat at a pub and this dad had just set up a laptop ANGLED AWAY FROM HIMSELF AND TOWARD THE REST OF THE RESTAURANT and his two kids were watching cartoons while he was on his phone in the corner. Even he seemed annoyed by the cartoon. Why????? It haunts me.
Why is everyone hating on social studies? I’m a high school history teacher and I work my ass off. I teach kids how to analyze texts, decipher challenging sources, debate, research, write analytical essays, etc just as an ELA teacher does.
A great history teacher does these things. And it’s wonderful that you do. One of my history colleagues is just about the greatest teacher I’ve ever met and teaches writing and research intensively. Two of the laziest colleagues I’ve ever taught with are history teachers who rarely assigned papers, graded DBQs on completion, and assigned slide shows as major assessments. I also remember my history teachers in high school as being totally out to lunch. I don’t know…I think there is something about the subject that draws in a lot of people who just want to strum a guitar and sing “The Times They Are A-Changin.” But certainly not all history teachers!
The laziest teachers I had in high school were English teachers. One of my best (and most hard-working) teachers was also an English teacher. These generalizations strike me as very strange.
The generalization is dumb but hugebagel specifically asked why history and social studies teachers get hate. I’ve been teaching for 15 years now and can point to lazy and hard working teachers in every subject but if a cliche persists it’s worth trying to explain.
Your child WON’T be an old lady though. I like both names but prefer Teresa because it’s rare for this generation. God knows it’s not a crowd pleaser, but I think it’s beautiful. Tessa is a natural nn for it but Toria for Victoria feels forced.
Are you sure? It is unusual to be the listing agent of a home that you own. People do it from time to time but it’s not common and considered unprofessional.
I am looking at new construction homes. In my market most of these are “agent interest.” Either the listing agent has purchased the land and built using a contractor and is selling or the listing agent is related to the builder and selling on the builders behalf.
This is weird behavior. A roof costs more than 5k so I’m assuming they’re trying to split the cost of the roof with you. I am assuming you don’t have the budget to put a new roof on out of pocket so it kind of makes sense. Why hasn’t your realtor explained the counter offer more thoroughly though? I think your next move is to get a foundation guy in there to confirm the seller’s claim.
I think my agent has told me everything she was told. They didn’t explain why they were raising the asking price at all, so we kind of just had to extrapolate. We’ve already had one foundation company look at it, which is where we got the estimate for the piers, but their foundation company said the bricks just needed mortar. So it’s basically our word against theirs until we get more companies to come look at it.
I will say this is kind of typical. Whenever we have work done, tradesmen often give us conflicting advice on what needs to be done. When possible, always get three opinions. So you’re already doing that, which is perfect. I wouldn’t accept the higher counter offer personally, especially with no explanation.
We would like to buy eventually. So far we have a combined $70k saved for a house. I imagine we'd need over $100k for down payment and closing costs in Eastern MA though.
I’m sure you’ve Zillowed and have seen what you can buy in the Boston area for $500,000/20% down. It’s not much, but you can still snag a small condo here and there on the T Lines. If you know you would want something bigger than that, I really would begin as you mean to continue (Worcester).
You can absolutely live in the Boston area for those salaries as long as you don’t mind a cozy apartment. If you’re looking to buy, much depends on what you’ve saved for a down payment. It would need to be a lot. Obviously, you will save more in the long term by not being near Boston (even with the salary difference) and you would have more buying power near Worcester. If you’ve got two job offers, I’d try to negotiate a higher salary on one of them—I’d probably go with the Boston offer since the COL argument is right there.
NAH but it sounds like you two are incompatible. I say this as someone who wouldn't want to have Easter dinner with my partner's f*ck buddy, but have totally dated people who put me in these situations.
Great recs on here--and if I could be so bold, putting other dust jackets on books of the same size goes a long way if you want to read not-so-subtly books with gay characters! This works especially well if it's a dust jacket your parents have already read and vetted.
Some kind of stats? Number of lines characters have (what percentage of lines male vs. female protagonist has and how that compares to other Shakesperean plays), key word frequencies, length of acts/scenes and how they affect the pace of the plot. None of this is very advanced math, but there are effective and interesting ways to tie SIMPLE math to literary analysis. Otherwise, you'd just be engaging in nonsense.
It's us! We even got a house at the good interest rate there. BUT--it was the top end of our budget, it needed work, and we were living paycheck-to-paycheck doing repairs, paying $2,500/month for daycare, and working ourselves to the bone just to keep our heads above water one hour outside of Boston. We have an MA and a PhD between us, but Gen X and Baby Boomer bosses/managers underpaid, overworked, and infantilized us. It seemed like we would be 45-50 y/o before we were moved to more managerial positions.
Can I ask where you guys moved? I'm getting pretty fed up with my 3 hour a day commute
I was lucky enough to get a job in VT before moving. Housing also panned out for us through my work. My partner is in an industry that is growing in VT. This is not an easy state for most people to move to, however, because of the housing and healthcare shortage. So, I don't want to paint it as some kind of utopia, but it's been good to us. We were willing to move anywhere in New England and just went with a good offer.
Very comfortable to rent. If you're looking to buy a condo, also somewhat comfortable. If you're looking to buy a SFH, not so comfortable unless you have a large down payment.
Yeah the nut jobs waiving the contingency and screwing up safe market practices to screw over all buyers.
There are a lot of people who think a house can still be renovated with $50-$80k in Massachusetts. They assume they have the savings/loans to cover anything that is wrong with the house. Meanwhile, I often think about our $20k quote to convert a bay window into a french door. Folks will find out the hard way what stuff actually costs.
And that's not even if there's a structural or safety issue a decent inspector would catch. Making it unlivable or at least, un-mortgagable. If they waive the right contingencies they could be really screwed. People who resort to this practice are pushing the market into unsafe territory.
We have descended into madness and unfortunately the situation isn’t going to change until a home inspection is required by law to buy. Otherwise, sellers are just going to continue to go with non-inspection offers. We didn’t—but it was tempting!
Use Jemmy. I like it and it's your name. Don't worry about correcting people. If you can, have your backpack embroidered with "Jemmy." Then, when you introduce yourself, you will be able to point to the spelling.
I agree except for the embroidered backpack. That just makes it way too easy for creepers to figure out your name and become stalkers.
On a college campus/in the age of social media, I think these concerns are mostly outdated. Everyone knows each other's names. In some ways, a nickname is a useful red herring. Adding the last name would be going too far. But there are definitely more private places to put the spelling of your name (like on your phone case, since it's mostly in your pocket, or on a keychain).
God of Small Things. I still don't know if I love it or hate it but I thought about it for a long time after reading it. The writing style is very unique.
One of my all-time favorites. The end is such a VIOLENT f*** you to the readers. Fine. Hurt me. You earned it with this prose.
Is Salvador too unique? I knew a Salvador who went by Sal and was very cool.
Noah Dean Williams
I tried to be as accurate as possible with using Hartford as an example lol it’s an uncommon name and masculine sounding like Charleston🤷🏼♀️ but I’d never consider using a close friend’s baby’s name! I’ve never really spoken to my son’s classmate’s parents.
Yes but…it’s a small school. Is it also a small town? Will they end up in the same school? You’re setting your daughter up for an awkward dynamic. The two kids mentioned above attended the same school and a lot of kids knew the younger one was “named after” the older one (as they put it). It was awkward as hell for both of them. I feel like you can get a similar vibe by going for another uncommon city name or a variation on Charles/Charlotte.
All good things to consider but there’s a 6-7 year age gap so there’s never a chance they’ll attend the same school at the same time
Sounds like you’ve decided it’s not weird to use the name and wanted confirmation on Reddit that it’s not weird. I think folks in this thread are pretty divided and again…you should brace for side eye if you go ahead with it. And that side eye isn’t really something you can push back against because you ARE taking a unique name from another parent and making it your own. But if it’s worth it to you, then it’s worth it!
Went to the Hotel Salem bar when it first opened and it was hilariously bad. Cocktails were nearly undrinkable. I suspect it was just growing pains but…I will never go back.
I'm so sorry for your loss and for your stress. That sounds awful.
I would contact the listing agent and ask if they'd be interested in a back-up cash offer and list the terms. If they say yes, you can have your agent draw it up. She can be annoyed you went behind her back and all but this is business, you shouldn't be playing these games to begin with, and she'll still potentially earn a commission she didn't actually "earn."
Letting kids blast their screentime in public spaces. Middle fingers to you all.
We went out to eat at a pub and this dad had just set up a laptop ANGLED AWAY FROM HIMSELF AND TOWARD THE REST OF THE RESTAURANT and his two kids were watching cartoons while he was on his phone in the corner. Even he seemed annoyed by the cartoon. Why????? It haunts me.
I like Ines best out of all the options but don't think it's unambiguously pronounceable. I'd still go with it, though.
Why is everyone hating on social studies? I’m a high school history teacher and I work my ass off. I teach kids how to analyze texts, decipher challenging sources, debate, research, write analytical essays, etc just as an ELA teacher does.
A great history teacher does these things. And it’s wonderful that you do. One of my history colleagues is just about the greatest teacher I’ve ever met and teaches writing and research intensively. Two of the laziest colleagues I’ve ever taught with are history teachers who rarely assigned papers, graded DBQs on completion, and assigned slide shows as major assessments. I also remember my history teachers in high school as being totally out to lunch. I don’t know…I think there is something about the subject that draws in a lot of people who just want to strum a guitar and sing “The Times They Are A-Changin.” But certainly not all history teachers!
The laziest teachers I had in high school were English teachers. One of my best (and most hard-working) teachers was also an English teacher. These generalizations strike me as very strange.
The generalization is dumb but hugebagel specifically asked why history and social studies teachers get hate. I’ve been teaching for 15 years now and can point to lazy and hard working teachers in every subject but if a cliche persists it’s worth trying to explain.
THANK YOU
Middlemarch
Your child WON’T be an old lady though. I like both names but prefer Teresa because it’s rare for this generation. God knows it’s not a crowd pleaser, but I think it’s beautiful. Tessa is a natural nn for it but Toria for Victoria feels forced.
The houses I am usually interested in is where listing agent and seller is one and the same which is why I think I could save money on the price.
Are you sure? It is unusual to be the listing agent of a home that you own. People do it from time to time but it’s not common and considered unprofessional.
I am looking at new construction homes. In my market most of these are “agent interest.” Either the listing agent has purchased the land and built using a contractor and is selling or the listing agent is related to the builder and selling on the builders behalf.
Ah okay! That does make sense. I still wouldn’t ditch an agent personally—I’d find a new one—but I see why you’re considering it.
This is weird behavior. A roof costs more than 5k so I’m assuming they’re trying to split the cost of the roof with you. I am assuming you don’t have the budget to put a new roof on out of pocket so it kind of makes sense. Why hasn’t your realtor explained the counter offer more thoroughly though? I think your next move is to get a foundation guy in there to confirm the seller’s claim.
I think my agent has told me everything she was told. They didn’t explain why they were raising the asking price at all, so we kind of just had to extrapolate. We’ve already had one foundation company look at it, which is where we got the estimate for the piers, but their foundation company said the bricks just needed mortar. So it’s basically our word against theirs until we get more companies to come look at it.
I will say this is kind of typical. Whenever we have work done, tradesmen often give us conflicting advice on what needs to be done. When possible, always get three opinions. So you’re already doing that, which is perfect. I wouldn’t accept the higher counter offer personally, especially with no explanation.
We would like to buy eventually. So far we have a combined $70k saved for a house. I imagine we'd need over $100k for down payment and closing costs in Eastern MA though.
I’m sure you’ve Zillowed and have seen what you can buy in the Boston area for $500,000/20% down. It’s not much, but you can still snag a small condo here and there on the T Lines. If you know you would want something bigger than that, I really would begin as you mean to continue (Worcester).
You can absolutely live in the Boston area for those salaries as long as you don’t mind a cozy apartment. If you’re looking to buy, much depends on what you’ve saved for a down payment. It would need to be a lot. Obviously, you will save more in the long term by not being near Boston (even with the salary difference) and you would have more buying power near Worcester. If you’ve got two job offers, I’d try to negotiate a higher salary on one of them—I’d probably go with the Boston offer since the COL argument is right there.
do not give up this apartment. you would regret it. commuting also costs a lot.
the coolidge reservation has some great rocks but also a nice sheltered ledge if it's too windy for that
NAH but it sounds like you two are incompatible. I say this as someone who wouldn't want to have Easter dinner with my partner's f*ck buddy, but have totally dated people who put me in these situations.
Great recs on here--and if I could be so bold, putting other dust jackets on books of the same size goes a long way if you want to read not-so-subtly books with gay characters! This works especially well if it's a dust jacket your parents have already read and vetted.
Some kind of stats? Number of lines characters have (what percentage of lines male vs. female protagonist has and how that compares to other Shakesperean plays), key word frequencies, length of acts/scenes and how they affect the pace of the plot. None of this is very advanced math, but there are effective and interesting ways to tie SIMPLE math to literary analysis. Otherwise, you'd just be engaging in nonsense.