1. Every item you purchase from now on will be much smaller than expected.

  2. "You can't park there, mate"

  3. A certain man with a certain jar.

  4. I GOT A JAR OF DIRT I GOT A JAR OF DIRT AND GUESS WHAT'S INSIDE IT, not your innocence

  5. I bet the man afterwards was thinking "Did anyone see that because I will not be doing it again!"

  6. Has he actually activated Windows?

  7. I hope that bike lane guy doesn't cycle down this street.

  8. Ah! That'll be Biggus's brother. Dickus Longus.

  9. Ricard the Archer in Sens Fortress wears the Elite Knight Armour too.

  10. I think she wanted a cake shaped like Texas.

  11. Fair play to them. Wallpaper doesn't strip itself.

  12. The egg looks like the shape of Africa.

  13. I legit thought this was Donald Trump at first glance.

  14. This is very situational. For example, if my (hypothetical) wife of 20 years decides she doesn't like the dog I purchased 3 weeks ago. I'll choose my wife.

  15. It was quite easy actually. I just took some cupcakes into the lunch room for everyone.

  16. The Bible says "Thou shall not steal" The Bible does not say "Thou shall not swap"

  17. Solaire stares desperately into the eyes of Elton John. "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" he says.

  18. "Sorry, you're too small for this ride"

  19. Well, I'd think they were loaded because those things aren't cheap.

  20. Not in the slightest. If anything, Energy drinks are considerably worse for you. I've never heard anyone say they're healthier.

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